buttonsandpasta: (Daryl)
Aaron ([personal profile] buttonsandpasta) wrote2019-09-03 08:38 pm
dadyl: (142)

[personal profile] dadyl 2020-10-15 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
Alone in the woods for weeks - then months - on end, it was like Daryl could cease to exist for short periods of time while never losing sight of his task, just as long as a familiar face didn't bring him back. He could almost disassociate from it all, from what had happened, from himself, letting the whisper of wind in the leaves and the steady non-presence of the living world try to drown out the memories that were still drowning him. The guilt that was pulling him farther under all the time. That tried to drown him every day, that remained starving and dangerous with every week that passed without him being able to put Rick to rest. He'd failed him so badly in the end and had spent each day failing him again in this final way. Failing Michonne.

At first, retreating to the woods had been purely practical. He'd been searching and it made sense to keep moving.

Now it was the only way Daryl knew to stay alive.

He'd only noticed Aaron's marks when he'd returned from following the river all the way to the ocean and back, and by then Daryl had been so depleted and forlorn that it was an impossible thought: seeking Aaron out. Seeking anyone from that life out. He certainly couldn't respond to his messages in even the smallest of ways. Daryl hadn't even been leaving recognizable camps for his people to follow when he'd stayed around the area right after Rick's disappearance.

But he'd run a thumb across the first marking he'd found nonetheless, felt its raw newness in the wounded bark, and had felt a sort of silent gratefulness. He wasn't sure for what, but after months on his own, it almost felt like someone, after such a long time, was whispering his name to him somehow. He'd had no doubt who had left it, but for a long time, Daryl allowed the marks to be nothing more than a little tether, silently keeping him from floating away.

Until the day he'd been coming back through the familiar territory again and found the still-leaking pile of the dead under another of the familiar markings. The fetid blood in the carving was still tacky to the touch and when he pulled his fingers back Daryl could almost feel a weight on his chest. It was a heavy knowledge that a friend was so close. He knew Michonne still came out as often as possible, he'd run into her somewhat recently when she'd looked just about ready to pop, but it's not her he expects to find at the river as he finds himself making his careful way along the same path Aaron has just taken. Even without the marking, Daryl would have known where to find him. Aaron is a good woodsman, but Daryl is still the better tracker.

And he's quiet as a hunter when he comes upon the clearing. He doesn't mean to be, but he isn't ready to be seen first. It hurts just to look. Aaron is crouched at the riverbed where the water burbles up over some flat rocks, the curve of his shoulders even more familiar than the metal arm winking in the sunlight, and Daryl is forced to relive every memory of Alexandria at once in the few seconds it takes Aaron to finish rinsing his face and turn to check around himself for safety. When he does, Daryl raises one hand awkwardly, feeling all the time like a ghost asking for some sort of recognition. He wonders if his voice will work if he speaks. He doesn't bother to try it.